I’m going through the Dale Carnegie Immersion program this month and will be sharing my experience. But before we dig into what I’m learning in this seminar, I want to share with you my experience with Dale Carnegie over the last 23 years ago. This is my first introduction:

I was 19 years old and had just moved from Billings, MT where I had lived since I was 2 years old to Massachusetts to live with my Dad who I barely knew. I had managed to get myself in a little bit of trouble with credit already and living with my Dad was a way for me to earn money to pay things off and get back into college.

Shortly after I moved out to my Dad’s my half brother Danny moved back from California where he had been living since he left the Army a year or so earlier. Danny was jealous of me spending time with Dad because he had been raised by Dad alone his entire life. This caused us to have an uneasy relationship. That relationship was not able to grow into a real brother relationship because my brother Danny died a couple of months later in a crazy, stupid accident.

Danny’s death was very tough on my Dad. Dad had raised Danny by himself since he was just a baby. He had a very rough grieving process and needed time alone to grieve.  I went through my own grieving process as well. I was 19 years old. I had just lost a brother who I didn’t really know.  I was used to being surrounded by friends and family. Suddenly I knew no one and the one person who I had expected to lean on needed me to support him. I was more alone than I had ever been in my life.

To help me get through this period I dove into books searching for an answer. I read all sorts of self-help books that mostly came across as fluff to me.  Then I found Dale Carnegie’s “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.”  It was my first introduction to his work and I was amazed at the way Dale uses stories to explain his principles. It made everything make sense to me and I went out and used what I learned.

Learning to live in “day tight compartments” alone had an immediate impact on my life. I had been spending a lot of time alone and doing what people do when they are alone “thinking.” It wasn’t good, positive productive thinking. It was a negative spiral of self pity that only built upon itself.

Following the principles in the book enabled me to step back and honestly take stock of my life.  I had been fuming over the past and the things that I could not control. Following Dale’s advice I learned to focus on what I could control and to take action on what I could control without worrying about things that I couldn’t control. Once I started focusing on what I could control, my attitude changed and I quickly pulled myself back up and turned my life around.

Over the last 23 years I’ve read my Dale books a dozen times and always have a copy nearby during good times and during times of turmoil. While I’ve read and learned from many other great teachers in the subsequent years, I will always remember Dale Carnegie’s books for helping a lonely 19 year old put his feet under himself and move forward with his life.

Tomorrow I will share more about my journey with Dale Carnegie