How I Overcame my Fear of Speaking in Public

December 2, 2009 by Doug Mcisaac

I’m going through the Dale Carnegie Immersion program this month and will be sharing my experience. But before we dig into what I’m learning in this seminar, I want to share with you my experience with Dale Carnegie over the last 23 years. This is the second post in the series.

When I was younger nothing scared me more than having to speak in front of a group, it terrified me. One of the ironies of my fear is that I was a musician and had been playing saxophone and bassoon both with groups and as a soloist since I was in 4^th grade. I had played in front of tens of thousands of people over the years and I was more nervous to tell them my name and what I was playing than I was to actually play. I would break out in a sweat and would forget what I was supposed to say, but when I started playing everything was OK.

I would do everything but skip class to keep from having to speak. When I thought my turn was coming up I would break out in a sweat. Then when I was called in front of the room I would be sweating, my hands would be shaking and I would be reading my notes without looking up. Then I would rush back to my seat as soon as humanly possible.

Shortly after my introduction to Dale Carnegie through “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” I bought his book “The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking.” This book opened my eyes. I learned that I was far from alone and that millions, if not billions of people were afraid of speaking. I read story after story of people who had overcome their fear and I learned why I was afraid of speaking in public

I wasn’t really afraid of speaking I was afraid of failing while speaking in public. So many of the issues I had in the past were because I wasn’t prepared properly, was speaking on subjects that I had not earned the right to speak about and I simply didn’t have enough practice. It was the equivalent of trying to play a symphony without really knowing the notes.

Two things Dale said really resonated with me: you have to predetermine your mind to success and you have to seize every opportunity to practice. I took action on his advice. I wasn’t able to call up a local University and offer to teach a course like Warren Buffet was able to do, but I did the closest thing that I could and became a waiter. I figured as a waiter I would have to practice speaking every day.

I’m glad I took action, but had no idea hard it would be for me. I laugh when I think back on my first days as a waiter at the Upper Crust restaurant in Braintree Massachusetts. I would be standing in back and the host or hostess would tell me I had a table. I would have to mentally prepare myself before I would go up to my tables for weeks and it was months before I could deliver something as simple as the specials without sweating and not reading my notes.

My next big step towards improving my speaking skills was to get involved with Shaklee, a network marketing company. Though today I’m not a fan of network marketing and may share my reasons in another post, I took advantage of the learning that was available and learned a great deal through my experience.

While with Shaklee I sought out every opportunity to speak in front of groups. I would speak in front anybody that would let me talk. I was speaking 10-15 times a month on top of working as a waiter at nights. I did opportunity meetings for 1-3 people, I did nutritional talks in front of rooms full of wrestlers, I did training sessions for groups of 8-10 people and eventually I was speaking in front of groups as large as 300 people and even shared a stage with Robert Cialidini, the author of “Influence.”

By taking action and seizing every opportunity to practice, I was able to overcome my fear of public speaking. Now almost 20 years later, I still occasionally find myself getting nervous when I’m going to be speaking. But because of the principles that I learned from Dale Carnegie I’ve been able to increase my skills and by increasing my skills, I’ve learned to deliver talks in front of groups of all sizes without fear.

My Introduction to Dale Carnegie

December 1, 2009 by Doug Mcisaac

I was 19 years old and had just moved from Billings, MT where I had lived since I was 2 years old to Massachusetts to live with my Dad who I barely knew. I had managed to get myself in a little bit of trouble with credit already and living with my Dad was a way for me to earn money to pay things off and get back into college.

Shortly after I moved out to my Dad’s my half brother Danny moved back from California where he had been living since he left the Army a year or so earlier. Danny was jealous of me spending time with Dad because he had been raised by Dad alone his entire life. This caused us to have an uneasy relationship. That relationship was not able to grow into a real brother relationship because my brother Danny died a couple of months later in a crazy, stupid accident.

Danny’s death was very tough on my Dad. Dad had raised Danny by himself since he was just a baby. He had a very rough grieving process and needed time alone to grieve. I went through my own grieving process as well. I was 19 years old. I had just lost a brother who I didn’t really know. I was used to being surrounded by friends and family. Suddenly I knew no one and the one person who I had expected to lean on needed me to support him. I was more alone than I had ever been in my life.

To help me get through this period I dove into books searching for an answer. I read all sorts of self-help books that mostly came across as fluff to me. Then I found Dale Carnegie’s “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.” It was my first introduction to his work and I was amazed at the way Dale uses stories to explain his principles. It made everything make sense to me and I went out and used what I learned.

Learning to live in “day tight compartments” alone had an immediate impact on my life. I had been spending a lot of time alone and doing what people do when they are alone “thinking.” It wasn’t good, positive productive thinking. It was a negative spiral of self pity that only built upon itself.

Following the principles in the book enabled me to step back and honestly take stock of my life. I had been fuming over the past and the things that I could not control. Following Dale’s advice I learned to focus on what I could control and to take action on what I could control without worrying about things that I couldn’t control. Once I started focusing on what I could control, my attitude changed and I quickly pulled myself back up and turned my life around.

Over the last 23 years I’ve read my Dale books a dozen times and always have a copy nearby during good times and during times of turmoil. While I’ve read and learned from many other great teachers in the subsequent years, I will always remember Dale Carnegie’s books for helping a lonely 19 year old put his feet under himself and move forward with his life.

Tomorrow I will share more about my journey with Dale Carnegie

Explaining Twitter to a Non-Techie

November 18, 2009 by Doug Mcisaac

Explaining Twitter to a Non-Techie

Have you ever had to explain witter to someone who has heard of it, but doesn’t know what it is? I dread it, because saying that it’s like texting, but people follow you and you can make lists… goes right over many people’s heads. It can be difficult to get a frame of reference. In the video below Kevin Spacey explains Twitter to David Letterman. It’s pretty funny. Enjoy it and let me know what you think of the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z1aZ7Gs46A&feature=player_embedded

4 Ways to Create Value Through Social Media

November 6, 2009 by Doug Mcisaac

One of my pet peeves is people who leave comments on content or share share content with comments that show that they didn’t read the article. I had a situation a couple of days ago where I saw an article posted by someone who I used to respect. I read the title and his comment and then read the article. The first paragraph proved that he had not read the article and was commenting solely on the title which showed me he has no respect for his audience.

I think this happens for many reasons. In today’s market far too many people are trying to put themselves out there as experts. Most of these self proclaimed experts have been told that they need to leave comments and add value. But that takes too much effort so they leave short, no value, cut and paste comments or comments simply based on headlines. They don’t realize that they are doing more damage to their brand every time they leave a bad comment.

Too many people are seeking shortcuts and much of the training that is available focuses on those shortcuts. The way to earn respect and followers online is to create value. Creating value differs by your audience and who you want to attract. You attract one audience through thought provoking in depth analysis and a different one by sharing the latest funny YouTube video.

Here are my thoughts on creating value more or less in order:

Create unique content that others will want to share

This takes far more work, but it delivers the most long term value. You are seen as the expert because you have proven yourself through your content. Before you say I can’t do that you need to understand that everyone is an expert at something. Trust me you are. But it’s not always what you want to be an expert in. We’ll explore that in more depth in another post.

Add value to others content.

Take short snippets of someone else’s content and add value. With a blog post you could use a trackback. You can add value providing more in depth analysis of the subject, you can extend the article, you provide your opinion, you can even disagree with the original article, but you need to add value and extend the conversation.

This shows you as the expert and is easier than starting from scratch. This is a good way to get started on those mornings that you just can’t get focused on a topic. If you use a trackback you will attract some attention from the original post and may even get the original blogger/author to come over and start a discussion on your blog.

Commenting

Adding value through comments is a great way to get noticed both by the content producer and by their audience. What you want to do is read the post. Find one or two specific things that you can comment on where you can provide unique value. Then I like to scan the comments and see if there is a good comment addressing the same points. If there is I reply to that comment with my thoughts. If there isn’t I leave my own comment.

Do not leave comments like “Great post” or comments that prove that you did not read the post. Also use your name, don’t be “Montana SEO” keyword stuffing your name in comments is spammy and makes you look like an idiot.

This is valuable because it can help you get noticed by the original content producer and their audience. I know people who have built followings simply by being the top commenter on one or two of the big names in their industry.

Sharing on Facebook on other social networking sites

This is good because it provides an opportunity for you to share great content with your audience. When you do it you want to make sure that you add value to the post even if it’s just one or two sentences. “I liked this post because, I found this part interesting etc…”

Do not share content with comments that prove that you didn’t read it. It proves that either you are an idiot who can’t read or you have no respect for your audience. Either reason is more than enough for someone to quit following you.

If you don’t have time to leave a good comment either don’t share it or at the very least just share it without a comment . There are many times that I read an article and share it without a comment, but I rarely share anything that I haven’t read.

The key component is that you need to add value. While there is some value in being an aggregator of information, if you don’t add value to that content why do people need you?? Reading Chris Brogan and sharing all of his posts does not make you a social media expert.

Seven things you must do if you want to be successful in Social Media Marketing

October 17, 2009 by Doug Mcisaac

Seven things you must do

if you want to be successful in Social Media Marketing

1. Control your schedule

Too many people allow themselves to get buried in the fun social aspects of the social media sites and forget that they are there for business. You need to schedule a block of time every day to spend on your social media marketing efforts and stick to that time. Ideally first thing in the morning so you don’t miss it.

2. Limit your number of Social Media Sites

People jump into dozens or hundreds of sites and try to maintain their profiles on all of those sites. It doesn’t work because it takes too much time and dilutes your focus. Stick to the 2-3 sites that provide the most benefit and automate or forget all of the rest.

3. Learn to write…or speak…or do video

Ideally you do all three, but you must produce content on a consistent basis. The more you write the better you will get. The more you hear yourself speaking the better you will get, the more you see yourself on camera the better you will get…trust me. You should read my earlier material or watch some of my videos. Some of those are really bad 🙂

4. Have an easy to remember, consistent username

Ideally your real name, your brand name or your keywords. Some sites like Facebook, frown upon keywords in your username. Use the same username on all of your sites.

5. Develop a thick skin

The more you build your reputation the more likely you are to have someone come after you. Sometimes they do it in the open and to your face most times they do it when they don’t think you’re listening.

Always be listening and respond appropriately without overreacting.

6. Control the searches on your username

The easiest way to do this is to have a blog your name and profiles on a number of the big social media sites.

If you Google Doug McIsaac everything on the first page is from me and there are only a couple of results in the first four pages that aren’t mine.

Obviously this is easier for me than if my name was John Smith, but there are ways to have a unique username without resorting to luckylady73. Your business username shouldn’t be like your Match.com name.

7. Know who you are and what your goals are from social media.

Too many people get online and just spin their wheels because they didn’t start with a plan. If you’re struggling to figure out where to start go read my mentor Simon Ford’s great post called “Who am I? Who am I not? Who do I want to be? What am I doing about it?” http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=136734128482

What other items do you think are MUSTS that I missed?

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